review: Satisfyer Pro 2

I started writing this review not long after receiving the product, but then struggled for months to complete it, so I must extend my sincerest apologies to Satisfyer for taking so bloody long. In the interim I realised that in order to write a review I’d be satisfied with, I needed to think more analytically about my own pleasure — a worthy goal in itself.

The Satisfyer Pro 2 is a rechargeable vibrator with “pressure wave and touch-free clitoral stimulation”. (Note: Since I received this product, a newer version has been released — the Satisfyer Pro 2: Next Generation.)

The exterior of the Satisfyer Pro 2 is rose-gold ABS plastic and white silicone, so it’s non-porous and body safe, and the silicone head can be removed and cleaned, sterilised, or replaced. The USB charging cable attaches to the toy by means of a seriously strong magnet, so no worries about it coming disconnected. The indicator light on the toy shows whether it’s charging, fully charged, or on. The Satisfyer Pro 2 does not come with a storage bag (nor does the Next Gen version).

The Satisfyer Pro 2 has no patterns but has 11 levels of intensity, controlled with a single, large button that scrolls from low to high and back to low again. (This interface did not prove popular and has been replaced by + and – buttons on the Satisfyer Pro 2: Next Generation model.)

The Satisfyer Pro 2 is described as “touch-free”, which I’d found a little confusing until I saw how it works: the silicone head touches the vulva around the clitoris but does not contact the clitoris itself. There is a moving part (visible, but set well back from the business end) that creates pulses of air (or water if you’re in the bath) and it’s these pulses that create the sensation. Stimulation of the clitoris is thus indirect, in a manner of speaking.

I was optimistic that the Satisfyer Pro 2 would work well for me since it is a focused toy  and my preferred method of masturbation uses the tip of a bullet vibe.

I was wrong.

The mechanics of the Satisfyer Pro 2 create something like suction or pressure though it didn’t actually feel like either. At level 1, I could feel something but it seemed not quite enough; level 2 had potential in terms of intensity but wasn’t the right sensation; level 3 was too much. I found that I got worn out and felt uncomfortable easily.

Using it in water gives a more intense sensation because the water is denser than air. Counterintuitively, I used this fact to reduce sensation because the pulses were now strong enough to be felt without placing the head in contact with my body. But I only found the resulting sensations mildly pleasant at best.

Sadly, I was unable to get anywhere near orgasm with the Satisfyer Pro 2. Why didn’t it work for me when it seemed so promising? There were a few reasons.

First, it turns out I don’t enjoy direct stimulation as much as I thought I did. Although I like to pinpoint my clit with my bullet vibe, I’ve subsequently observed that I don’t do this all the time or even all that much. The resulting sensation is often too intense and will simply desensitise me. The Satisfyer Pro 2 stimulates the (glans of the) clitoris and nothing else, which is a definite drawback for me.

Related to this is the fact that I always use my vibe on the “wave” setting: sensation is variable throughout the cycle, and at times is super mild. I found that I also adjust manually by reducing the pressure of the vibe against my vulva frequently, often to the lightest possible touch. Although the Satisfyer Pro 2 has a variety of intensities, pulling it away ends sensation instead of subtly lessen it.

Finally, my sweet spot seems to migrate unpredictably. Things can be feeling fantastic and I’ll feel that I’m getting close, when suddenly it doesn’t feel like anything at all and I have to go looking for the goodness again. Since the Satisfyer Pro 2 can only be used in one location, I can’t use it to chase down my wandering sweet spot.

I so wanted to like the Satisfyer Pro 2 but it’s not the toy for me.

The Satisfyer Pro 2 was provided to me by Satisfyer in exchange for an honest review.