Gritty. And wearing his collar.
I think I might be coming out of my not-posting-much phase. Hy is doing a challenge to write Every Damn Day in June, and while I was never posting daily, I think trying to find 10 or 15 minutes a day to just post something may be the kind of kick-start I need. It should help cut down on overthinking, for one thing.
I have to try to get caught up on mile high photos; I’ve got a cache, a stash, a bloody trove of them. And another little trip is coming up next week. This photo is from my trip to Playground Conference 2018, back in February.
I hate single-use items. Not long after I moved away from home, I replaced paper towels with washcloths and tea towels. Later I replaced tissues with cotton handkerchiefs.
Replacing disposables for my period took a little more effort. I had been using applicator-free tampons (which are individually wrapped in plastic) and no-frills store-brand panty liners (which contain a thin layer of plastic but aren’t individually wrapped). Out of the products available, these created less garbage than the alternatives, but still a lot more than none.
About 8 years ago, I started hearing about fabric pads and saw some being sold online: the design was like a winged panty liner with snaps on the wings to hold it in place and a pocket in which you could insert an optional pad for more absorption, with synthetic fabric on the back to reduce leaks.
I do some sewing so I started experimenting with making my own pads, but wings and snaps and pockets seemed too fussy, and I didn’t want to use any synthetics. My first version was a thin pad made from scraps of white linen and shaped a lot like the panty liners I used to buy – rounded at the ends and narrower in the middle (no wings). It was OK but washing didn’t get the layers as clean as I wanted and the white fabric stained immediately, of course.
It occurred to me that if I didn’t sew up a pad but instead simply folded fabric to get the layers, it would have the same coverage but be much easier to clean. So I made up a set of pads using black (no visible stains!) cotton flannelette. Each pad was big enough to be folded twice to create a 4-layer rectangular pad. I made as many pads as I could with the small amount of fabric I had, which turned out to be 8.
These pads were my only period product for about 5 years. When flow was light I wore one pad. Otherwise I’d wear two: one tucked close to my body to catch the majority of flow, and one flat against my panties in case of leaks. (The outer pad also helped keep the inner pad in place.) I found that my 8 pads were a bare minimum, so when I needed to change the inner pad, I’d reuse the outer pad whenever I could.
After use, I allow the pads to dry (they don’t smell). When I’m ready to do laundry, I soak them for a couple of hours in a plastic container (I use an old ice cream bucket), then give them a bit of a scrub by hand to loosen bits and get most of the blood out, then wash with similar colours.
I’ve heard it suggested that you should wash in hot water (which should discourage recurrent infections) but personally, I’ve had no trouble using warm or cold water. (Having said that, I recently had an infection and washed my pads in hot water out of an abundance of caution.) Until recently I’ve been putting the set in a laundry bag because I find it handy to have them all together, but they probably get a bit cleaner without.
Once they’re clean, I flatten them out and leave them to dry on a flat surface. I dry outside in the sun when I can. Bonus: sunlight has an antiseptic effect. There’s no reason why you couldn’t put them in the dryer too.
Things I became (more) aware of once I started using fabric pads:
Reusing things always takes more effort than throwing them away, but don’t find that they take that much effort. I think the biggest obstacle is that we’ve pretty much all been taught to use disposables so going reusable is unfamiliar and thus seems harder than it is.
That said, if I’m away from home, it’s not the most convenient. (Though having a period is really the source of most of the inconvenience.) If I need to change pads when I’m away from home, I put the used pad in a plastic zip bag, leaving the bag open to encourage the pad to dry. (If it stays damp, it will develop an odour.) If I’m travelling or otherwise can’t be sure I’ll have access to toilets whenever I need, I might bring a couple of tampons just in case. But in general, I find it very workable as long as I have my kit: the pads themselves and a plastic bag to put used ones in until I get back to home base.
Fabric pads last for ages! I used this same set for 7 or 8 years until I lost all but the one I was wearing by forgetting my entire kit in an airport washroom on my way to Eroticon 2017 (*cries*). If I hadn’t lost them, I’d expect to get at least a few more years’ use out of them. Think of all the disposables you wouldn’t dispose of over the course of 10 years! (I estimate I’ve kept something like 1440 panty liners and 400 tampons out of landfill so far.)
These are so easy to make.
It’s the end of the year. I’m at Wolf’s mother’s place, the very place where I launched this blog just over three years ago, as a matter of fact. The weather is cold and I don’t want to go outside and my back is complaining about the long road trip and subsequent inactivity.
I took this photo at home, in the newly painted bedroom. It’s a dark colour, and rather more reminiscent of the London dungeon Jaime and I visited back in March than I’d intended, but it’s also about my favourite colour in the world so fuck it.
I’ve been back home long enough that it feels normal again. Well, mostly. Having been in a place where the sun was nearly overhead, somehow it seems like at home it’s even lower than it was last year at this time. And the days are so short.
I don’t think I’ve talked much about my fatigue here. It’s an ongoing issue, like for years now. I don’t have a diagnosis of chronic fatigue syndrome, though I could probably get one if I wanted it; my doctor doesn’t disagree with it but he doesn’t find it helpful so he hasn’t branded me with it so far.
While I was away, I didn’t notice any unusual fatigue. Granted, I was on vacation and actually took things easy, but still, it stood out. At one point I wondered if I might actually be better. And then I got home, and after recovering from the exhaustion of long haul travel and jet lag, I feel like I still have the same fatigue problem as before. Curious but somewhat encouraging that it went away, if only briefly.
This photo was taken during my trip. There’s nothing green outside my window at home.