slight adjustment

It’s Sinful Sunday theme week once again, and this time it’s “outtakes“.

Like many other folks, I delete photos from my phone immediately if they’re out of focus, blurred by movement, or purely accidental, and I usually only take phone pics a few ad hoc snaps at a time. I realised that to find a “good” outtake, I’d need to go through my proper shoots.

Here’s one: a mistimed adjustment.

I cropped out my face but otherwise left it full size, including all the stuff around the edges that I’d usually crop out (for better or worse, I always shot in landscape on this camera). The mandarin on the floor at bottom left marks the field of view so I wouldn’t accidentally cut my feet out.

Photos from this January 2017 shoot that I’ve posted previously:

hold tight
striped symmetry 2
from on high

Sinful Sunday: It’s all about the image.

badge Sinful Sunday

photo shoot trip, day 2: fetish night

Because Lucas and I had been up so late on day 1, we were very late getting up on day 2. I woke mid-morning and lazed about in bed for a good while before getting up, while he made his first appearance at 1:00.

I was thinking we’d start on the photos today, but we didn’t have time for it with the late start and mandatory shopping, which was complicated by poor weather and, once we got going, car problems. This was the day of the fetish night, and Lucas had been almost turned away a few times running because his pants were barely passing muster under the fetish dress code, so he was on a mission to buy some new and sufficiently fetish-y pants.

I, on the other hand, was shopping recreationally. We had gone to a store at which the main styles were goth and steampunk with a few overtly BDSM-y pieces, and there was a mix of labels and house brand (the woman who owns the shop is a seamstress). During Project Pants, I explored and examined some of the simpler pieces, mostly looking for inspiration for things I could make myself.

I found a cool jacket in a military style – it was reminiscent of a mid-19th-century dress uniform, black with lots of black braid and lots of metal buttons. There was only one on the rack but according to the tag it was too big, so I asked if they had any smaller ones in stock. The clerk went through all the stock but didn’t find any that were smaller, so I gave up. But a while later out of curiosity I decided to try the jacket on anyway, just to see how it looked. What do you know, it fit! And pretty well, too, so I bought it. (The size on the tag had been thoroughly misleading.) In the meantime Lucas found some highly satisfactory pants (black, leather-look), so we returned to his place, successful hunters and gatherers.

After supper, we got done up and covered up, then left for the fetish night. The outside door led to a small foyer; the doors to left and right were for rooms that were both occupied by a private function. The door in the middle led downstairs to our event. The bouncer, a stylish older black man with an angular jaw, wore a long black coat and could have been an extra in The Matrix.

A woman and man stood at a podium by the middle door to check tickets and outfits while keeping tourists out. Lucas and I were dressed discreetly for the trip: he was wearing his new shiny black pants but his net top was hidden under a sweater. My black catsuit was concealed under comfy red yoga pants and a cardigan. There was no place near the door to change or strip down, so when the man asked if we had suitable attire I simply said “Yes” with great conviction, and on that assurance he let us through to the curving staircase. I thought it was quite funny.

In the meantime, the woman at the podium was dealing with another patron whose costume, unlike mine, was entirely visible; she said jeans weren’t acceptable and he argued, in a Russian accent, that his denim cut-offs were in fact Daisy Dukes and thus costume. They ended up letting him in, though I don’t know whether he got scolded or warned.

We arrived an hour after the start time but things were still quiet so we took a little tour. On one side of the entrance was a fair sized dance floor with a high ceiling, small restrooms at one end and a stage at the other; on the stage was a spanking bench. On the other side of the entrance, a short and narrow hall led to a bar area, which became a bottleneck later on since people were lining up for drinks while others were passing through. Then there was the coat check, which had a line up almost all night. Beyond that was the other dance floor; this one had a low ceiling, comfortable chairs and couches along the two long sides, an open area at the near end, and restrooms at the far end. There was a spanking bench on each side near the restrooms, but not a lot of clearance around them so they were fine for actual spanking but not appropriate for flogging, say. A suspension frame for rope was set up at the near end of this room; the basic structure was much like a child’s swing set, with room for two people to be tied at once, perhaps more if they were part of the same scene.

We danced on and off throughout the night, but the music mostly didn’t grab me: electronica, or 80s and Christmas music. The genres could have worked but I didn’t seem to share the DJs’ tastes.

The clothing/costumes turned out to be not all that interesting. Part of the issue was that they had three separate themes going (Christmas, fetish, and island) so it was a little incoherent. Some girls thus wore red underwear sets, and a few guys wore Christmas-themed boxers. One man wore two Santa hats, one on the big head and one on the little head, and that was the full extent of his costume. One woman was dressed as a hula dancer car dash ornament with short grass skirt, pasties, and flower in her shoulder-length hair; she danced what looked reasonably like hula, and the whole thing was nicely evocative. The guy dressed as Krampus got my attention for his cool eye makeup and horns. Otherwise it was mostly fairly ordinary lingerie.

There wasn’t much play going on since the set-up wasn’t entirely conducive. We did see a woman doing flogging and singletail at the stage station (the only one with room for such things), but that spanking bench was later claimed by a scantily clad guy in red briefs who gyrated to the music and checked his phone. Later we saw the same woman doing rope and suspending her partner. Lucas was impressed and intrigued. The spanking benches seemed to feature spanking only (including some paddling), and no surprise because there wasn’t room for anything else. Neither Lucas nor I did any play with each other or anyone else. It was, more than other occasions I’m told, primarily a dance party.

At one point, a topless woman walked past us and through the crowded dance floor. I was impressed by the way this was treated as entirely unremarkable. Nobody even blinked let alone leered.

On the basis of what I’d been told about this event, it was a bit underwhelming, and the poor weather likely didn’t help anything. But it was still fun and I’m glad I went.

play party

I’ve been to a handful of munches and play parties, but the play party I went to recently was the first time I really dressed up in something approaching “BDSM style”. I wore the bodysuit seen here, black push-up bra (and cleavage!) visible, slightly shiny black pleather leggings that came up to my natural waist, chocolate brown leather belt with antique brass toned domes/studs slung around my hips, and knee-high black leather boots.

When I sent Gawan a photo, he declared that I looked hot and BDSM-y, but a bit “strict Mistress Zoë” rather than submissive, noting that doms tend to conceal while subs tend to reveal. Although clothing communicates, I wasn’t worried about sending mixed messages because I wasn’t looking to pick anyone up. The bigger concern was that it was cold and I need to be comfortable.

I ran into Moth soon after I arrived. She complimented me on my attire, and the bodysuit specifically. We kinda know each other, and seeing her bodysuit was what inspired me to buy mine.

I paid attention to what others were wearing and compared their outfits to their role if I knew it, or guessed at their role on the basis of what I saw. It was a small event in a small, conservative city, so there wasn’t much variety. (My town: “Where Fashion Comes to Die”.)

Almost all of the men wore black shirts and black pants, ranging from street wear to vaguely fetish-y. Among them, two men stood out. One was a furry wearing a dog mascot costume, which in turn was dressed up as Captain Jack Sparrow. (Meta costume?) The other (River) wore a T-shirt and little shorts, both tight, shiny and black.

The women were a little more creatively attired as a group, as is usually the case, but there was still a lot of black (me included). Two women, both subs, were scantily clad in little tops and knickers with enough coverage to be (more or less) decent in public. One of these (Kathy) stood out for wearing mostly red; she also wore a tiny and shiny black pleated skirt that functioned primarily as a belt.

Two women, both very slim, wore corsets and fishnets. Little Bird wore a purple, frilly panties, small gauge fishnets, and a lace choker. Shadow, a dom, wore a black corset with a short black skirt, large gauge fishnets and tall black boots.

Little Bird and River

I know Little Bird from dance, and I’ve met her partner River two or three times. This is the first time we’ve run into each other in the scene, and we were all surprised. When River first spotted me I think it took a moment for him to place me, and then he exclaimed, “What a great top!”

Little Bird and I ended up chatting for quite a while. It turns out that they’re both kinky and poly. Picking up little clues from the conversation, I guessed River to be a switch or maybe a sub. Little Bird came across as sub more than anything, but I wasn’t sure that she was all that invested in kink. (I could have asked straight out, but since I knew them it seemed indelicate. So I stalked them on FetLife after the party. He identifies as a switch and she as a sub.)

In a city this size, it was inevitable that I’d eventually run into someone I knew.


I met Kathy at my second play party, last March. I chatted with her and her male companion and, as I recall, he did most of the talking and she seemed a little distracted but they both seemed nice. I connected with her on FetLife soon after. I’ve run into her again at a couple of munches.

This time we ended up in a circle of about five people. She dominated the conversation with sheer output. She was talking about anything and everything. I was getting bored. I didn’t want to hear about her cute tiny dog. I didn’t want to hear about her dead giant goldfish (which was larger than the dog). I didn’t want to hear about how she could wear yesterday’s sweatpants to work. When she told a short story (about how her elder daughter shared that she had lost her virginity the night before), and then upon completion told the exact same story again in the exact same words, I made a mental note not to engage her in conversation without an exit strategy.


I met Moth a few months ago at a munch. I’d seen her and her partner’s names on the RSVP list, and his name occasionally as an organizer, so I was curious about meeting them. He didn’t talk to me very much but seemed nice. I’ve since spoken to her on a few occasions and we seem to get along.

At a play party about two months ago, I got to watch her topping (she’s switchy). I wasn’t overly impressed. If I recall correctly, she’s been into kink for about six years, active in the community for about two.

I saw her topping again at this party. They had set up a dungeon with four stations in the basement of the house: St. Andrew’s cross, massage table, spanking bench, and something else that I don’t remember. He was on the cross, facing the wall, on the other side of the room from where I and a few others sat surreptitiously watching. She flogged him for a while, and with the way she extended her arm straight back and the length of the flogger itself, it nearly extended to where I was sitting on the spanking bench. After catching a few breezes, I moved out of harm’s way.

Later in the scene I saw her with some kind of rod or heavy cane. By the time I started paying attention, he already had a number of dark welts on his upper thighs. She stood beside him, her left side to his left side so that she was facing the room while he was facing the wall. She purported to be speaking to him, but she was looking at us. She struck him again and again with the rod, awkwardly, with her right arm completely crossing her body to reach him. She didn’t look at her target, and the rod often seemed to skip. She was sort of narrating what she was doing, and there were times when what she said she was doing wasn’t actually what happened, like when she said she was going to hit his ass and the rod then skipped down to his upper thighs. It just looked sloppy.

I thought of a photo that Gawan had shown me of a series of cane welts that he had placed with precision; he was proud of the tidy grouping, and rightly so. I had been considering the possibility of finding a local person to play with, and how it could simplify things if I played with a woman. But it won’t be Moth. I will not let her touch me.


When I reported back to Gawan at the end of the night – that not only had no one hit on me, few men spoke to me and I barely had the sense that anyone who enjoyed the female form even noticed my, um, assets – he was shocked. I was less surprised; people here are overall rather reserved. I wasn’t fussed, since I wasn’t seeking that kind of attention anyway.