it’s just everything

It’s been an unforgettable summer, that’s for sure.

In mid-July, someone broke into our house (well, came into — the door was unlocked because it was daytime in this small, sleepy city) while we were both home, grabbed a fistful of keys from beside the door and tried to steal our car. They didn’t get far. Couldn’t drive stick. But they got house keys so we had to get the locks changed immediately. Office keys. My spare bike lock key, I think. The key to Wolf’s tool chest. We got the car towed from where it sat partly blocking the alley, had the ignition reprogrammed, and parked it a few blocks away, but even so, they found it, stole it, torched it.

It has weighed on my mind. I’ve got a new car now but I haven’t quite wrapped up the insurance claim. It’s become a source of some anxiety. And I’ve been busy. So it’s not done yet. On Friday I got a notice to renew the plates on the old car even though they know it’s a total loss. I guess I need to deal with that..

Wolf has moved back to the city where he worked the winter academic term. I’ve gone to visit twice — the first time having borrowed my mom’s car, the second as my new car’s inaugural trip. I like this new car. I like the colour. The last time I had a new car was almost 13 years ago; I didn’t expect it to end like this. I worry about the new one a bit.

In August, I masturbated a lot compared to my previous average. Not deliberately. I was just trying to pay attention to my body, listen when it whispered in my ear. In September it stopped whispering again. I don’t know why. Perhaps because I’m on my own now and I’m just busy all the time?

I renegotiated the mortgage so I could pay it off earlier. I want to be thinking about repairs and upgrades, but mostly I’m thinking about security. I’m getting a utilitarian fence this fall. I need to take down the old one, though frankly I could probably get most of it down by leaning on it. Are the eavestroughs going to make it through another winter?

My new term of dance classes has started again. I took a trip to do a workshop earlier in the month, and replenish the well. It helped but this still feels like a slog — lesson planning and choreo for a show and another, earlier show that I was given a last-minute invitation to perform at.

Dance is the one place in real life that I socialise. I work from home in silence and that’s how I like it. People take so much energy. And some of them get angry — actually angry — about the weather. Remind me why I’m friends with these people? Am I even?

I spoke to my dad. Things are better than they’ve been for a while. But the last time I talked to him was already two months ago. It takes so much energy.

First I had no ideas about what to write. Then a few, but no time. Then they backed up, and then it was overwhelming — where to start? No time, no time. Easier to say nothing than try to spit out half-formed thoughts.

It’s just everything.

Sinful Sunday: It’s all about the image.

Sinful Sunday: It’s all about the image.

room with a view 6

Japan, Nov 2018

Anonymizing my image through the medium of laundry 😉

Boobday is a body-positive meme where women share images of their bodies in order to show that there is beauty in all of us. With confidence comes power and with power comes confidence.

Boobday is a body-positive meme where women share images of their bodies in order to show that there is beauty in all of us. With confidence comes power and with power comes confidence.

Sinful Sunday: It’s all about the image.

Sinful Sunday: It’s all about the image.

slight adjustment

It’s Sinful Sunday theme week once again, and this time it’s “outtakes“.

Like many other folks, I delete photos from my phone immediately if they’re out of focus, blurred by movement, or purely accidental, and I usually only take phone pics a few ad hoc snaps at a time. I realised that to find a “good” outtake, I’d need to go through my proper shoots.

Here’s one: a mistimed adjustment.

I cropped out my face but otherwise left it full size, including all the stuff around the edges that I’d usually crop out (for better or worse, I always shot in landscape on this camera). The mandarin on the floor at bottom left marks the field of view so I wouldn’t accidentally cut my feet out.

Photos from this January 2017 shoot that I’ve posted previously:

statuesque
hold tight
striped symmetry 2
from on high

Sinful Sunday: It’s all about the image.

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hagakure

Hagakure is the name of an 18th-century book about bushido (samurai philosophy) but it literally means “hidden by leaves” or “hidden leaves”.

Both images are from my trip to Japan in Nov 2018.

This image was created for the Sinful Sunday theme for March (“double exposure”) at which time, unusually, I came up with more than one image that I liked. You can see my first choice here.

Sinful Sunday: It’s all about the image.

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sumer is icumen in

Svmer is icumen in
Lhude sing cuccu
Groweþ sed
and bloweþ med
and springþ þe wde nu
Sing cuccu

Awe bleteþ after lomb
lhouþ after calue cu
Bulluc sterteþ
bucke uerteþ
murie sing cuccu

Cuccu cuccu
Wel singes þu cuccu
ne swik þu nauer nu

(a joyful Middle English song about the return of spring/summer)

Shortly after Eroticon last year, Molly and I met up to do a little outdoor shoot, and I stripped down in the April sunshine while Jaime and Cara guarded the entrance to this public but generally overlooked little historic site.

You wouldn’t necessarily know it from the view presented here, but this was a glorious (if nipply) spring day.

nude figure in front of a late medieval brick wall
Photo by Molly Moore

I shared a preview image from this shoot here.

Sinful Sunday: It’s all about the image.

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work in progress

Shortly after Eroticon last year, Molly and I met up to do a little outdoor shoot, and I stripped down in the April sunshine while Jaime and Cara guarded the entrance to this public but generally overlooked little historic site.

After about half an hour in the sun and chill (it was about 10°, which is only warm if you’ve got clothes on!), we piled back into the car and headed to Molly and Michael’s, where Molly then uploaded the photos from camera to computer.

I couldn’t resist the interplay between the lilies and the brick wall on the monitor.

And here’s one of Molly’s own photos from the shoot.

Sinful Sunday: It’s all about the image.

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lush

The Sinful Sunday theme this week is “double exposure“.

Photo of me from my archive; photo of Japanese maples in autumn from my trip to Japan in Nov 2018.

The self-portrait element was originally published here (almost exactly 4 years ago) as strong light.

I surprised myself this week by coming up with a few images that I liked, including this one.

Sinful Sunday: It’s all about the image.

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