review: Satisfyer Pro 2

I started writing this review not long after receiving the product, but then struggled for months to complete it, so I must extend my sincerest apologies to Satisfyer for taking so bloody long. In the interim I realised that in order to write a review I’d be satisfied with, I needed to think more analytically about my own pleasure — a worthy goal in itself.

The Satisfyer Pro 2 is a rechargeable vibrator with “pressure wave and touch-free clitoral stimulation”. (Note: Since I received this product, a newer version has been released — the Satisfyer Pro 2: Next Generation.)

The exterior of the Satisfyer Pro 2 is rose-gold ABS plastic and white silicone, so it’s non-porous and body safe, and the silicone head can be removed and cleaned, sterilised, or replaced. The USB charging cable attaches to the toy by means of a seriously strong magnet, so no worries about it coming disconnected. The indicator light on the toy shows whether it’s charging, fully charged, or on. The Satisfyer Pro 2 does not come with a storage bag (nor does the Next Gen version).

The Satisfyer Pro 2 has no patterns but has 11 levels of intensity, controlled with a single, large button that scrolls from low to high and back to low again. (This interface did not prove popular and has been replaced by + and – buttons on the Satisfyer Pro 2: Next Generation model.)

The Satisfyer Pro 2 is described as “touch-free”, which I’d found a little confusing until I saw how it works: the silicone head touches the vulva around the clitoris but does not contact the clitoris itself. There is a moving part (visible, but set well back from the business end) that creates pulses of air (or water if you’re in the bath) and it’s these pulses that create the sensation. Stimulation of the clitoris is thus indirect, in a manner of speaking.

I was optimistic that the Satisfyer Pro 2 would work well for me since it is a focused toy  and my preferred method of masturbation uses the tip of a bullet vibe.

I was wrong.

The mechanics of the Satisfyer Pro 2 create something like suction or pressure though it didn’t actually feel like either. At level 1, I could feel something but it seemed not quite enough; level 2 had potential in terms of intensity but wasn’t the right sensation; level 3 was too much. I found that I got worn out and felt uncomfortable easily.

Using it in water gives a more intense sensation because the water is denser than air. Counterintuitively, I used this fact to reduce sensation because the pulses were now strong enough to be felt without placing the head in contact with my body. But I only found the resulting sensations mildly pleasant at best.

Sadly, I was unable to get anywhere near orgasm with the Satisfyer Pro 2. Why didn’t it work for me when it seemed so promising? There were a few reasons.

First, it turns out I don’t enjoy direct stimulation as much as I thought I did. Although I like to pinpoint my clit with my bullet vibe, I’ve subsequently observed that I don’t do this all the time or even all that much. The resulting sensation is often too intense and will simply desensitise me. The Satisfyer Pro 2 stimulates the (glans of the) clitoris and nothing else, which is a definite drawback for me.

Related to this is the fact that I always use my vibe on the “wave” setting: sensation is variable throughout the cycle, and at times is super mild. I found that I also adjust manually by reducing the pressure of the vibe against my vulva frequently, often to the lightest possible touch. Although the Satisfyer Pro 2 has a variety of intensities, pulling it away ends sensation instead of subtly lessen it.

Finally, my sweet spot seems to migrate unpredictably. Things can be feeling fantastic and I’ll feel that I’m getting close, when suddenly it doesn’t feel like anything at all and I have to go looking for the goodness again. Since the Satisfyer Pro 2 can only be used in one location, I can’t use it to chase down my wandering sweet spot.

I so wanted to like the Satisfyer Pro 2 but it’s not the toy for me.

The Satisfyer Pro 2 was provided to me by Satisfyer in exchange for an honest review.

sexy solo Saturday

First thing in the morning last Saturday, I put on my thigh-high socks, took some poor quality (but still hot) photos, then sent one off to my partner before our daily Skype. Afterwards, I took some better photos that didn’t feature my ass. Three of these appear in last week’s Sinful Sunday post.

To avoid creating bra- and panty-lines, I lounged about in a state of dishabille until the early afternoon, alternating between pottering around on the internet looking for hot stuff to read, and taking more photos from time to time as the mood struck. The light was good.

When I’d had enough of photos and was ready to get dressed, I decided to give my new butt plug a go. I’ve done very little anal play so far and this is my first wearable plug, so the whole experience is quite new for me. As the plug is also a little bigger than the toy I’d been playing with, it took patience and relaxation (and lube, of course!) to insert.

At first it just felt a little odd. I wasn’t sure what to expect, so I just sat (gingerly) on the couch and hung out for a while. As I shifted positions, the different angle and pressure changed the sensation so sometimes it was mmmm, sometimes oohhh, and occasionally even a little ungh. I’m not sure what exactly I was doing to produce the different results, but it felt good. Usually, my brain needs to be well engaged for me to get warmed up, but this was what I’d call a “manual start” — purely physical stimulus that gets me hot. Yum.

When I became a little more relaxed and confident with the plug, I started doing some housework. From time to time, I’d stop for a few minutes and bring myself close to orgasm with my new vibrator (the storied Hitachi Magic Wand), and then resume whatever I had been doing. The plug generated different sensations depending on whether I was moving about, going up or down stairs, standing, or sitting, and what I was sitting on.

After the fear of unexpected and unpleasant bottom-related surprises subsided, I decided to take it for a test walk to a store nearby. On the way there, I found myself walking rather slowly and breathing shallowly; I must have subconsciously felt that I needed to actively hold it in. I felt a little more confident with it on the return; the sensation was still odd but sometimes mmmm or even oohhh.

Later on, back at home, I collected the vibrator and readied my Pure Wand. I had hoped that G-spot stimulation with the plug in place would be enough to get me off. It was not. Vibe it is, then.

That first orgasm set the bar high: it was noticeably more intense than any I’d previously managed to accomplish through solo play. And then the second proceeded to vault well over that bar. It wasn’t the absolute most intense orgasm I’ve ever had ever, but it was still a fucking brilliant, panting, keening, shuddering experience.

Now, I acknowledge that there are a lot of variables here: a wearable plug (nJoy Pure Plug, medium); a technique that probably just passes as edging; a new and very strong vibrator. And these are in addition to the Pure Wand, whose properties I have a fair handle on already. I can’t pinpoint quite what went right because there’s too much new stuff going on.

But I intend to keep experimenting with these (very pleasant) variables. You know, for science.

quick clean-up

My friend is dropping by in a few minutes for a visit. Quick, gotta make sure that the place is decent.

Sex toys washed and put away — check.

No condoms visible in the garbage — check.

Fuck-me shoes moved from dining room to bedroom — check.

OK, ready for company!