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Tomorrow is the medium-sized dance performance that I mentioned last Boobday. It’s part of a larger (and potentially very tiring) event that I’ll probably take in as well, at least in part, so I’m going to be a bit of a wreck by this time tomorrow. Fortunately my energy level has been largely keeping up with the busyness, and that’s a minor miracle. It’s not sustainable in the long or even medium term, but for now I’m good.

The first leg of my trip to Japan in Nov 2018

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Things haven’t calmed down much in the last two weeks, though I am successfully getting through the busyness.

I’m now powering through a number of dance performances, including a small one this weekend, a medium-sized one next, and then a big one the week following. I enjoy it but there’s a lot of admin to be done, and 10 minutes of dancing can be surprisingly tiring even though it’s not super intense — it still basically lays me out for the day.

 

This photo — the only one I took — is from a little solo trip last fall. It was warm so for a change I’m not wearing my standard travel outfit.

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Wolf and I are on a little road trip this weekend. It’s for sad family business but we’re making the most of it: I’ve now got a couple of shots to share that aren’t on a plane for once, though it’ll take me a while to get to them.

It’s been frantically busy at work and with dance classes and performances that it’s nice to escape for a couple of days, even if the place where we’re staying is not exactly the height of luxury (there are signs on the outside doors for folks to take off grubby footwear there rather than track dirt through the place). I may be terrible with faces but I recognised the woman who runs this place (from the last time we were here on family business) by her voice and the way she chatters.

This is the last shot from a business trip that generated a handful of images. I had two flights each way, same aircraft type three times, and my outfits on both travel days were very similar but not quite the same. See if you can spot the differences!

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I’ve been home for a few weeks now and, sadly, getting back into the groove of work, dance, and other quotidian things.

I’ve been reading Paris by Edward Rutherford to get a better feel for the City of Lights as I know I’ll be there again sooner or later, and Wolf and I have started thinking about a little adventure closer to home this summer. It’s been too long since we had an adventure together.

I don’t actually live in an airplane, though you’d be forgiven for thinking I do. I just am now in this habit of snapping a pic on every flight. Good excuse to stretch the legs.

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aerodrome 3

The trip from our hotel to the airport started before I would ordinarily be awake, and comprised 30 minutes of twists and turns through busy city. Jaime and his suitcase accompanied me in the airport shuttle even though he needed to go in the opposite direction to where his car was parked so he could drive himself back to his mountains and home.

From the shuttle drop-off point to the terminal comprised another 10 minutes of pedestrian twists and turns through what felt like a parking garage but mostly without cars in it. The route was painted on the ground but was also helpfully signposted with 8 or 10 friendly staff, one at each turning to guide us through the labyrinth. The last three carried baskets and handed out chocolate eggs, in honour of Easter, as well as little bottles of water. Our theory was that this was done to counteract the endless fog of low-grade evil engendered by a building that forgot to account for the fact that people needed to move through it.

I had some time to spare so we had a bit of a sit, I got myself organised, and then Jaime sent me off with a few meaty swats to my bottom. It’s hard to leave, but the tension keeping me there is balanced by the tension pulling me home and back to Wolf.

And, some 20 or so hours later, Wolf was waiting for me at our little airport in his usual spot, and silently gathered me up in his arms in the usual way, smelling my hair.

So I’m home now, and mostly recovered from the ultra-long-haul flight, a handful of time zones worth of jetlag, and (probably) fighting off a 20-hour barrage of viruses in various airports and planes. The length of the days is not so different from where I was, nor the temperature, and I’ve only had one flicker of disorientation from the sun being on the “wrong” side of my zenith. The next time I go to visit Jaime, perhaps I’ll be able to find north by feel rather than calculation.

Wolf is away again for now, and I’m alone in the house until he returns, but this is the last time for a few months at least.

Here I am in the – non-private – washroom of an airport lounge, not quite a year ago. Low traffic, but still required a little more boldness than my usual material.

More photos from this trip (i.e. last year’s, not the one I just got back from) here and here.

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My visit with Jaime is drawing to a close, and I’ve only got one more full day with him. Most of our time together has been spent, very relaxed, at his place and today’s day out in the city — featuring squealing kids, more people than I usually see in a year (it put me in mind of Shibuya at one point), and inescapable noise of some kind all day, indoors and out — reminds me of some of the reasons why I don’t live in a big city. I went into Muji and didn’t buy anything because it was a zoo and the line was enormous — that’s how peopled out I was. By the end of it, we both wanted to put boxes over our heads.

But then, after dinner at a quiet little family-run Thai restaurant, there was a short fireworks show just across the way. Although our view was partly obscured by buildings, we could still see it well from our room instead of having to wade through another mass of humanity, which frankly was beyond us in that moment anyway.

Different plane than last week’s photo, but taken the same day on (I think) the same type of aircraft.

Compare last week’s photo here.

Boobday is a body-positive meme where women share images of their bodies in order to show that there is beauty in all of us. With confidence comes power and with power comes confidence.

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I’ve been here with Jaime for most of a week now. The travel, as always, was grueling, but I suppose the upshot of not being able to get any real rest on the (very, very long) flight is that although I’m exhausted by the end of it, I don’t really get jetlag. My body will take any amount of rest at any time of the day.

I’ve done some shopping and so far I’ve bought Mongolian felt slippers, a Hmong coat, and a little Afghan carpet. No souvenirs native to this country so far. Oh well.

I’ve also had two spankings, and a profound realisation about some of my sexual difficulties which led, predictably, to a torrent of tears. More on that later.

This was taken while travelling with my mother. I inherited extreme self-consciousness from her and I find myself reverting to that to some extent while in her company. I’m pleased to report that I’m now comfortable enough with my body to pull a stunt like this even when she’s around. I’ve made real progress!

Boobday is a body-positive meme where women share images of their bodies in order to show that there is beauty in all of us. With confidence comes power and with power comes confidence.

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arch

The last few weeks, my busyness level has ranged between hopping and frantic. Preparing for a business trip, then the trip itself. Then the aftermath, concurrent with getting ready for an epic flight to visit Jaime, leaving in a couple of days. And now I have a cold because of course.

I’m looking forward to seeing Jaime, but I’ve too busy anxiously putting out fires at work to be aware of the anticipation. Occasionally I get a stab of anxiety when I remember some key time-sensitive travel task, like ordering currency (picked up today!). And now that those work fires are out (well, reduced to smouldering embers to impatiently await my return or handed over to be someone else’s problem), then I can devote my entire brain to being anxious about packing and otherwise preparing for travel. Hooray! *eyeroll*

I’ve not seen much of Wolf lately. His workload has been heavier than we hoped, so even though he’s close enough to come home on weekends, he hasn’t had the time. He did come back two weeks ago for a change of scenery and a proper shower, but mostly so he could drive me to the airport. The airport that’s a 10-minute drive from our house. That’s devotion, folks.

I’ve not heard much from him either as when he’s stressed he goes into extreme hermit mode and doesn’t have a lot to say anyway. So when we talk, I natter on about whatever trivia is happening for me, and he listens. There’s a distance. Fortunately, the term is over soon and he’ll be returning home around the time I get back from my trip.

I miss Wolf and would much rather that he was here, but even so, there’s a certain comfortableness about being on my own the way I was a few years ago when he was overseas. The devil you know, that’s part of it. But also, being an introvert myself, I don’t mind the solitude. And I have discovered that, for a variety of reasons, I’m not good at knowing what I want — in most areas of my life — so having the mental and emotional silence allows me to listen for my own tiny voice.

As of early this afternoon, Wolf is back in town so we get some time together (coughing and sneezing because we’re both sick now) before he drives me to the airport, once again.

Boobday is a body-positive meme where women share images of their bodies in order to show that there is beauty in all of us. With confidence comes power and with power comes confidence.

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room with a view 2

This week started off deceptively calmly with a day off — at least for me, in theory, but the people generating work for me to do were busy all day so all I accomplished was to fall behind. It didn’t help that I had a reaction to some food over the weekend so my energy and brainpower were sub-optimal, and thus I headed into Tuesday with difficulty focusing. And the computer was acting up so I couldn’t do anything. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday have, as a result, been frantic. I woke up early today because of anxiety and was in tears before breakfast.

As of this evening, I’m no longer behind on work but I’ve still got some personal tasks that are getting very stale and I Just. Can’t. Rest. One of the things to deal with is getting the car moving under its own power again after the battery froze. Ten-minute drives a few times a week aren’t enough to keep it functional in the weather we’ve been having, and suddenly my virtue of being almost entirely self-propelled has become a vice causing all manner of hassle. I don’t have the brainpower for any more problem solving, so if there’s any new problems they’re just going to have to wait their turn. (Think that will work?)

I did squeeze in a 10-minute meditation today and I think it helped, and I have a meditation class tomorrow to help me recalibrate. And no one adding to my pile of work over the weekend (touch wood) will also help. Some of my dance folks are coming over on Sunday for discussion and socialising which I expect to be enjoyable but very draining. I’ve told them the start time and the end time and I’m not afraid to boot people out if it comes to it.

I think I can say without risk of jinxing it that, yes, I’m in a blogging groove again, but it’s a struggle to find time to do the writing and, more importantly, the emotional work that undergirds so much of it. I’m managing to keep up with my reading (there’s a reason why my follow lists are short) and replying to comments here (just), but commenting on others’ posts is beyond me right now, I’m afraid, especially given how long it takes me to compose even a simple comment. I’d prefer to contribute a little more social to my media, but for now I’m just going to have to accept blogging at all as a success.

This hotel that’s well off the beaten track houses well-tended, stylish rooms. Unfortunately, the light is stylishly low and it’s hard to get a good photo.

Get another view of this same room in room with a view 3.

Boobday is a body-positive meme where women share images of their bodies in order to show that there is beauty in all of us. With confidence comes power and with power comes confidence.

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I’m on my own and I’ve now gotten into a groove. Keeping myself well fed and not boring myself to tears with the food I’m making. Learning to improvise meals using staples, the contents of my spice cupboard, and whatever perishables I have at any given time. And not taking all evening to do it. I feel… nascent competence. It’s good.

My workload has calmed from “panic” down to “frantic” and now towards merely “hopping”. The weather has been very cold and I’m feeling creaky because of inherent creakiness plus lack of exercise — the busyness indoors (I work from home) and the frigidity outdoors makes it easy to avoid going out and just park my bum in front of my computer all day.

Though my routine did get shaken up a bit the other day. When I went out to clear the snow off the car (not having driven it for days), the remote door lock didn’t work. I had to actually apply the key to the keyhole and then tried to open the other doors using the unlock button. Nothing. No electricity at all. The battery is completely dead. And I had a physio appointment to get to right away. This was an important appointment so, in problem-solving mode, I called a cab, which is something I never do. Happily, I got to the appointment on time. It wasn’t so far away that walking was impossible but it was a hike: about 30 min to get myself home.

And then I had to get myself to dance class in the evening. Again, I usually drive but walking isn’t out of the question. This was about 25 min. I would have preferred to drive because (a) one of the things I went to physio for was my foot and (b) it eats up rather a lot of time on what is always a busy day due to my dance classes running basically all evening. At least I got a lift home. And I worked out some of the kinks in my legs and hips.

But good news! Wolf is coming home tomorrow! For once we might actually have to decide who cooks supper. But I”m leaving the the dead battery problem to him.

Last leg of my trip home from visiting Jaime, Nov 2017. Do my breasts look tired? All of me was very tired.

Boobday is a body-positive meme where women share images of their bodies in order to show that there is beauty in all of us. With confidence comes power and with power comes confidence.

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