play party

I’ve been to a handful of munches and play parties, but the play party I went to recently was the first time I really dressed up in something approaching “BDSM style”. I wore the bodysuit seen here, black push-up bra (and cleavage!) visible, slightly shiny black pleather leggings that came up to my natural waist, chocolate brown leather belt with antique brass toned domes/studs slung around my hips, and knee-high black leather boots.

When I sent Gawan a photo, he declared that I looked hot and BDSM-y, but a bit “strict Mistress Zoë” rather than submissive, noting that doms tend to conceal while subs tend to reveal. Although clothing communicates, I wasn’t worried about sending mixed messages because I wasn’t looking to pick anyone up. The bigger concern was that it was cold and I need to be comfortable.

I ran into Moth soon after I arrived. She complimented me on my attire, and the bodysuit specifically. We kinda know each other, and seeing her bodysuit was what inspired me to buy mine.

I paid attention to what others were wearing and compared their outfits to their role if I knew it, or guessed at their role on the basis of what I saw. It was a small event in a small, conservative city, so there wasn’t much variety. (My town: “Where Fashion Comes to Die”.)

Almost all of the men wore black shirts and black pants, ranging from street wear to vaguely fetish-y. Among them, two men stood out. One was a furry wearing a dog mascot costume, which in turn was dressed up as Captain Jack Sparrow. (Meta costume?) The other (River) wore a T-shirt and little shorts, both tight, shiny and black.

The women were a little more creatively attired as a group, as is usually the case, but there was still a lot of black (me included). Two women, both subs, were scantily clad in little tops and knickers with enough coverage to be (more or less) decent in public. One of these (Kathy) stood out for wearing mostly red; she also wore a tiny and shiny black pleated skirt that functioned primarily as a belt.

Two women, both very slim, wore corsets and fishnets. Little Bird wore a purple, frilly panties, small gauge fishnets, and a lace choker. Shadow, a dom, wore a black corset with a short black skirt, large gauge fishnets and tall black boots.

Little Bird and River

I know Little Bird from dance, and I’ve met her partner River two or three times. This is the first time we’ve run into each other in the scene, and we were all surprised. When River first spotted me I think it took a moment for him to place me, and then he exclaimed, “What a great top!”

Little Bird and I ended up chatting for quite a while. It turns out that they’re both kinky and poly. Picking up little clues from the conversation, I guessed River to be a switch or maybe a sub. Little Bird came across as sub more than anything, but I wasn’t sure that she was all that invested in kink. (I could have asked straight out, but since I knew them it seemed indelicate. So I stalked them on FetLife after the party. He identifies as a switch and she as a sub.)

In a city this size, it was inevitable that I’d eventually run into someone I knew.


I met Kathy at my second play party, last March. I chatted with her and her male companion and, as I recall, he did most of the talking and she seemed a little distracted but they both seemed nice. I connected with her on FetLife soon after. I’ve run into her again at a couple of munches.

This time we ended up in a circle of about five people. She dominated the conversation with sheer output. She was talking about anything and everything. I was getting bored. I didn’t want to hear about her cute tiny dog. I didn’t want to hear about her dead giant goldfish (which was larger than the dog). I didn’t want to hear about how she could wear yesterday’s sweatpants to work. When she told a short story (about how her elder daughter shared that she had lost her virginity the night before), and then upon completion told the exact same story again in the exact same words, I made a mental note not to engage her in conversation without an exit strategy.


I met Moth a few months ago at a munch. I’d seen her and her partner’s names on the RSVP list, and his name occasionally as an organizer, so I was curious about meeting them. He didn’t talk to me very much but seemed nice. I’ve since spoken to her on a few occasions and we seem to get along.

At a play party about two months ago, I got to watch her topping (she’s switchy). I wasn’t overly impressed. If I recall correctly, she’s been into kink for about six years, active in the community for about two.

I saw her topping again at this party. They had set up a dungeon with four stations in the basement of the house: St. Andrew’s cross, massage table, spanking bench, and something else that I don’t remember. He was on the cross, facing the wall, on the other side of the room from where I and a few others sat surreptitiously watching. She flogged him for a while, and with the way she extended her arm straight back and the length of the flogger itself, it nearly extended to where I was sitting on the spanking bench. After catching a few breezes, I moved out of harm’s way.

Later in the scene I saw her with some kind of rod or heavy cane. By the time I started paying attention, he already had a number of dark welts on his upper thighs. She stood beside him, her left side to his left side so that she was facing the room while he was facing the wall. She purported to be speaking to him, but she was looking at us. She struck him again and again with the rod, awkwardly, with her right arm completely crossing her body to reach him. She didn’t look at her target, and the rod often seemed to skip. She was sort of narrating what she was doing, and there were times when what she said she was doing wasn’t actually what happened, like when she said she was going to hit his ass and the rod then skipped down to his upper thighs. It just looked sloppy.

I thought of a photo that Gawan had shown me of a series of cane welts that he had placed with precision; he was proud of the tidy grouping, and rightly so. I had been considering the possibility of finding a local person to play with, and how it could simplify things if I played with a woman. But it won’t be Moth. I will not let her touch me.


When I reported back to Gawan at the end of the night – that not only had no one hit on me, few men spoke to me and I barely had the sense that anyone who enjoyed the female form even noticed my, um, assets – he was shocked. I was less surprised; people here are overall rather reserved. I wasn’t fussed, since I wasn’t seeking that kind of attention anyway.

Talk to me

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.