negotiating a photo shoot

My discussions with my friend Lucas about doing a shoot together have been continuing apace. We arranged to Skype last weekend, mostly so I could do some show and tell of clothes and accessories.

I would have liked to use my laptop for the purpose, but my internal speakers stopped working after my forced upgrade to Windows 10. It’s a driver issue and, because I usually use headphones or external speakers, not quite irritating enough for me to spend the time figuring it out. But it turns out that my microphone also doesn’t work. I figure that’s a driver fuck-up too.

I knew the call would be long and I needed the phone plugged in, so I started by finding the best-placed outlet. Then I looked around the house for something I could use as a stand, and found a soft plastic soap-dish thing with slats between which the phone would fit. But the slats weren’t deep enough to support the weight of the phone at the slight angle necessary to keep me in frame, so I put a book behind the soap dish and let the phone lean against that. High tech!

Over the course of an hour or so, I pulled various likely items out of the closet to show Lucas. He liked almost everything, so the limiting factor is going to be how much I want to pack and haul.

The nature of the shoot is starting to take shape too. The overall tone is going to be artistic. There will be some regular non-fetish photos, and we’ll also try some rope bondage, starting with ties that look cool but don’t actually restrict movement, and working up in intensity from there, within my comfort zone. There is a possibility of partial suspension if I’m inclined to try it.

A couple of days later, we exchanged some sample photos. He wanted to show me his rigging and editing skills. I wanted to show him the photography styles I like and some of the clothes in action, and just show off a little. He found my photos inspiring, which I consider a great compliment.

He likes the look of gags and suggested it as an idea, and my first reaction was that I should agree to try it, even though I wasn’t especially keen. But I realized that this was my old habit of going along with things because I think I ought to for some reason. So I informed him about that habit and gave him some ideas of how to help me avoid that pitfall. He acknowledged that gags are intense and not for everyone, and reassured me that there is no wrong answer and it’s important to him that I’m happy.

Our friendly discussion seems to be developing into more focused and deliberate negotiation, which reminded me that although this project isn’t about sex, it will be sexy. We haven’t had a BDSM checklist chat, but I’d be ready for it.

We’ve set tentative dates (a little less than two months away), chosen to coincide with a fetish club night. I think the whole trip is going to be a blast.

6 thoughts on “negotiating a photo shoot

  1. I’ve done a few shoots as photographer and the best advice I can give is simply be you..

    work out which poses you can do comfortably and it makes things easier. Use pinterest and suchlike to search for images you like and use them as inspiration but add your own twist to them, trying to be someone else usually results in strained expressions (if you plan on doing facial images) so just be you and have fun 😊


    1. I’m a dancer and I tend to gravitate towards dance-related poses: good posture, strong graceful arms, etc. It’s a kind of muscle memory, I suppose. I think we have a fair number of ideas between us, and he has plenty of experience. I’m looking forward to sharing and combining ideas. I’ve known him for ages, so I think that will help put me at ease. No plans to show my face, which makes things easier.

      And yes, it’s all about having fun!

      Liked by 1 person

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