Sinful Sunday: the wall

Last week’s Sinful Sunday post was about being open. Vulnerability doesn’t come easily for me – it’s an aspiration.

the-wall

Protecting myself is the deeply ingrained default, learned at home. Damaging romantic relationships later on buttressed the wall that was already there, massive yet imperceptible (at least to me). Despite my blindness to it, I managed to open a Wolf-sized gate. My relationship with Gawan has helped me to finally perceive the wall and has inspired me to start demolition.

It’s a big project.


Edit: Guest judge Bambi from Girl, Uninterrupted chose my photo for the Round-up this week (thanks Bambi!) and said:

This is a truly beautiful image and evokes so many feelings in me. Being vulnerable is so difficult for so many of us and this image and her words really resonate with me. At first glance it looks as though she’s protecting herself, arms over her chest, afraid… but when I look further, I see a looseness in her hands as though maybe she’s thinking about letting go. Her stance doesn’t look afraid to me, it looks strong and empowered.

badge Sinful Sunday

15 thoughts on “Sinful Sunday: the wall

  1. Something I think we’re all working on. It’s wonderful that you’ve found a partner who makes you feel more comfortable being vulnerable. I love the pose in your picture – that you’re protecting yourself by crossing your arms, but your nipples are still peeking out. That seems symbolic in some way!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I’m finding that many people have similar issues. How did we all get to be so guarded? And it’s not just that Gawan provides a sense of safety – he also provides a good example.

      Yes, there are cracks in my wall. I don’t think I’ve ever been completely closed off. And thanks 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I wish you every success with your project. Tear down the wall!
    And I’m also glad to see that your breasts aren’t _completely_ protected.

    Beautiful photo!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I didn’t even realize I was doing it because I learned it as a child, mostly from my mom. For her it was a response to events, but for me it was just The Way Things Are. It was difficult for me to see that I could be shut off even though I’d never decided to shut myself off.

      Like

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