What was the first overtly sexual act you performed on someone else or had performed on you? How did you feel about it afterwards?
There are a couple of firsts that I wouldn’t quite define as “overtly sexual”: first kiss (woo!); first time a guy touched my breasts (yawn).
I think the first overtly sexual act would be receiving cunnilingus. And the weird thing is that I have absolutely no recollection of the event.
I can reconstruct it up to a point: I’m certain that I know which boyfriend it was (a good guy, we’re still friends). It probably happened at my place. He would have initiated it and I would have allowed it: I wouldn’t have thought to actively want it, and even if I did, I would have been struck mute and unable to ask for it. I’m quite sure I didn’t come. I’m pretty sure he went down on me more than just the once.
It’s curious to have a blind spot about something that was, both at the time and in retrospect, so significant, and I wonder if I blocked it out because of my general sexual shame. Objectively speaking (if objectivity is remotely relevant in the context of deeply emotional issues), it wasn’t a negative experience, and cunnilingus would be the first sexual act I did with many if not most subsequent boyfriends. So, all in all it was a positive experience.
If only I could remember it.
See who else is talking about first times here.