my first anniversary

I’m currently at my mother-in-law’s place, where I launched this blog one year ago today, Christmas Eve. (No, she doesn’t know!)

I’d had my epiphany in the summer of 2014. There was only so much I could accomplish while Wolf was away, so five or six months later I still felt very much like things were just beginning. When I first started blogging, it was with the intention of documenting my exploration of my own sexuality, not knowing what I would find.

I’m not really one for planning and expectations. I had and have no schedule for this, no checklist. At the outset, I asked myself a number of times what I was trying to accomplish — what was the point of putting this deeply personal (and potentially embarrassing) material out into the world? I’d had difficulty with sexuality forever and I was only able to solve that issue by remaining curious, reading things that caught my interest, asking questions and looking for answers. My solution was out there but it had required rather a lot of assembly. I figured that if I could supply a few more nodes of information and hopefully some insight, maybe it would be helpful to others.

I don’t know if I’ve had any success with that particular goal — perhaps it was merely a justification. Not many people find my blog through searches*, and I don’t actually have that much to say about sexual shame and how to overcome it, because once I assembled the requisite bits of knowledge, the shame melted away on its own. Although I still have some hangups, I don’t think those have anything to do with unresolved shame.

I haven’t written as much as I thought I might, although this isn’t a great surprise. Occasionally it was a lack of material, but, of late, finding enough time has become the bigger challenge.

I have ended up posting way more photos than I expected to, partly because of the simple fact that I find them quicker and easier than writing. At this point a little more than half my posts are photos! This has provided me with an unplanned opportunity to express myself visually; I’ve found that I’m most comfortable with sensuality, sometimes shading towards eroticism, and less so with overt sexuality. [For what it’s worth, my busiest day for blog traffic was the day I posted this photo of my ass.] I’ve also been discovering my visual style as an artist (if that’s not too grand a title), which has been fun on its own and has to an extent informed my sense of style in how I dress and how I decorate my house.

I suppose that it’s not a big surprise that the sex blog memes that I’ve participated in are photo memes: Hyacinth’s Boobday and Molly’s Sinful Sunday. The feedback from these communities has helped improve my self-image ‌— another unanticipated benefit! And I’ve become acquainted with a number of other bloggers, which has been quite nice.

I’ve also made a very special friend in Gawan, which was utterly unexpected! Whatever our relationship is, it’s unconventional and I don’t know where it will lead, but I’m very glad to have him in my life.

Wolf and I are still learning about ourselves and each other, even after so many years together. There’s lots more exploring for us to do and I’m looking forward to it.


* Some of my favorite search terms that have led people here:

  • hobby fuck sex
  • sex fucking is bad hobby
  • givemeafucknow
  • sex sexy fuck fucking stories tripod mom fiction
  • most pleasant intercourse.

7 thoughts on “my first anniversary

  1. Happy Anniversary!! Your writing is reflecting your feelings in a positive manner. I hope you do get to look at yourself with improvement in your self confidence. I find your photography an expression of that self confidence. You also make your photography into creative art that is pleasant to view. Your experiments with lighting, furniture, shading and picture adjustments are a strong sign of the improvement of your skills.

    Liked by 1 person

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