Food for Thought Friday is a new weekly meme “designed to get you thinking”. (It’s run by sex bloggers so the topics will often, but not necessarily always, be about sex.)
This week’s question has a preamble, which I’m including because it’s quite relevant to my answer.
Within the D/s community, there are times when it is necessary for a Dom to administer a corrective spanking/caning/thrashing. Our question this week, however is directed to those on the receiving ends of such punishments.
Do you consider a corrective spanking/caning/thrashing as a pleasure or a punishment?
I think it’s necessary to back up a step. A dominant/submissive (D/s) relationship is about power exchange. It doesn’t necessarily involve impact play. It also doesn’t necessarily involve a punishment dynamic, and if it does, the punishment doesn’t necessarily have to be physical. And you can have impact play without power exchange.
My partner and I have been dabbling in D/s power exchange. Also, we sometimes do spanking. We raised the matter of punishment early in our discussions, and immediately dismissed it: neither of us are interested in it.
But I’ve given it more thought in the interim. At first, I found the idea of punishment upsetting to the point of being a squick. The problem for me is that I generally have strong internal motivation (I always try to do my best), and I’m also very sensitive to disapproval, so physical punishment would be utter overkill. At this point I feel that I can begin to understand why others appreciate such a dynamic, but it’s still not for me.
What about “funishment”? As I understand it, the language of punishment is used as a framework to add meaning to the experience, but both parties ultimately expect it to be enjoyable. Having words that don’t really match the actions smacks of roleplay, which isn’t something that I enjoy.
I have had spankings and I enjoyed them. And for me, that’s the point.